My husband and I went to an outdoor concert in 2012 - Zac Brown Band. We had never really been concert-goers, but that was about to change. The next summer, we bought the Country Megaticket for Blossom Music Center and went to most of the concerts included (I'm guessing 10 concerts were included). We had a blast! We continued purchasing the Megaticket year after year, until last year, when my health was too unpredictable.
We also went on road trips to see some of our favorites: we went to Boston, Philadelphia and Denver to see Eric Church (Kenny Chesney was with him in Boston - oh, how I'd like to relive that one!). We did a quick weekend drive (yes, a weekend drive) to Denver to see Neil Diamond (not really our usual cup 'o tea, but entertaining nonetheless). I love music and I have it on in the house when I clean, or when I do anything else that doesn’t require thought and/or focus. It moves me and soothes me and generally just makes me happy. Last March, my family went to see Casting Crowns in concert. My mom had bought us all tickets. I've never been a huge fan of Christian concerts. I can't really say why. Sometimes the people (as in concert-goers) just rub me the wrong way. I think that I have a responsibility as a Christian to make Christianity look like something people want to be a part of and I see so many Christians doing just the opposite, at least in my eyes. I see them acting like they are in some exclusive club and are too good for others and on the flip side, I also see them acting overly nice, trying to woo others into 'the club', and it comes off as being inauthentic. Anyway, those are just my observations and I know I'm way over-generalizing, but that's what I was feeling that night before the concert. So, a little bit hesitantly, I went. I remember that I had had chemo earlier in the week. I had lost my hair months before and wore turbans to cover my baldness. I couldn't go out and be inconspicuous. If you’ve read my other blogs, you'll know that I'm an introvert who likes to blend in. It didn't take long before I was enjoying myself. The music was great and was interspersed with just the right amount of talking The lead singer is also a youth pastor and he has a very engaging way of speaking. I can see that adolescent kids would be drawn to him (but what do I know, I'm a 50 year old-ha!). I was drawn to what he had to say, but especially to the music. I knew some of their songs; my mom and dad listened to their music a lot when Dad was sick and we played several of their songs at his funeral. I found myself making a mental list of songs that I liked and thought would be appropriate for my own funeral/calling hours. You see, I've had a sort of knowing all along that this cancer of mine has a mind of its own and that healing on this earth may not be in the cards for me. I don't think this means I have a lack of faith or means I've had a negative attitude. In fact I think I've been able to have a positive attitude because I am doing what I can to fight the fight, knowing that God is in control and that His plans for me are better than what I could plan for myself. One of the songs that really spoke to me was Loving My Jesus. I don't know why I have cancer or why it has to be such an aggressive type. But I do. As I've gone through other trials in my life, I've asked myself how I could possibly turn it to good in some way. I've been able to do that in my own life; I'm much closer to God than I used to be. I think I'm a calmer person who can see the big picture easier than I once could. But I still asked myself, 'how I can help others find the peace that I have begun to find'? I thought about blogging for a long time before actually biting the bullet, but was very nervous about that idea and I also thought I didn't have enough to say. This song speaks to what I am trying to do with my blog and in my life. I want to be an example of what Jesus can do. As I've gotten older, I've realized that I have so few answers. There are many religions and a lot of them are very similar to each other. I do not be believe that we all have to think the same way in order to have eternal life. That being said, I believe in God, the Father; Jesus the Son and in the Holy Spirit. I believe that God is a loving god and that he wants what's best for all of us. I believe that I will be spending eternity with Him. That's about all I know. So, here are the lyrics. My prayer is that something I've said or done at some time in my life will plant a seed that will continue to grow and flourish in as many lives as possible. God bless. Oh, and rock on :) Loving My Jesus Casting Crowns I was a wandering soul Traveling a well worn road A sinner so far from home No second chance in sight I heard You call my name I felt You lift my shame And I made a vow that day That I'd spend the rest of my life Loving my Jesus Showing my scars Telling my story of how mercy Can reach You where You are And I pray the whole world hears The cry of my heart Is to see all the ones I love Loving my Jesus Sin tries to make you hide Whispers that same old lie Keep all your pain inside 'Cause no one will understand The last thing this lost world needs Is someone I'm trying to be Truth that has set me free Is that I'm just a broken man Loving my Jesus Showing my scars Telling my story of how mercy Can reach You where You are And I pray the whole world hears The cry of my heart Is to see all the ones I love Loving my Jesus When all is said and done When my last song's been sung I stand face to face with the One Who gave all for me May all I have to show Be all that mattered most Making Your great name known Let this be my only legacy Loving my Jesus Showing my scars Telling my story of how mercy Can reach You where You are And I pray the whole world hears The cry of my heart Is to see all the ones I love Oh, all the ones I love Loving my Jesus Songwriters: JOHN MARK HALL, MATTHEW WEST © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
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6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Archives |